Not Cool - Day 11

Is it "cool" to follow God? In the world's eyes, No.

Is it "cool" to rely on God's direction for your life? In the world's eyes, No.

Is it "cool" to believe in God... someone that is not seen? In the world's eyes, No.

How do you or can you believe in God when there is so much bad that happens or has happened to you or in the world? How do you know there is a God? How can you have faith when bad things happen? Why would God allow so much hurt and destruction?

Above is several questions that have been asked of me and some I have felt and questioned myself. But stop for a minute and think....

Have you ever sat in a chair and worried if it was going to break OR did you believe and have faith that it was going to hold you up? Do you eat food everday and wonder if it is going to make you sick OR do you just have faith and eat. Do you look at the ground you walk on and wonder if it is going to fall or do you have faith with every step that it will be solid?

To me God is real and I choose to believe that there is a God. I look at it like this...I would rather believe there is a God instead of not believing and when I die find out that I should have believed when I stand at the gates of Heaven. What do I have to lose by believing in God? Nothing, but I do have everything to gain by believing.

God never promised this life would be easy but he did promise to be with us during each and every step. I have mentioned this before and I am going to repeat it...if God allowed His son Jesus Christ to die on the cross and suffer for our sins how can I not expect some form of suffering or trials in my life? Adam and Eve disobeyed God and they suffered consequences for their disobedience. Just as a child I suffered consequences from my parents so we as women and men suffer consequences for Adam and Eve's actions even today. Women suffer pain/labor in childbirth because of Eve's actions and men suffer burdesome labor or hard work in their work. This is written in the Bible in Genesis 3:16;17, God is speaking to Adam and Eve after they disobeyed and ate the apple.

Genesis 3:16
To the woman he said,
"I will greatly increase your pains in childbearing;
with pain you will give birth to children."

Genesis 3:17
To the man he said,
"...Cursed is the ground because of you;
through painful toil you will eat of it all the days of your life."

We all suffer consequences for our actions in everyday life but some of our actions cause other people to suffer the consequences. For example, you are riding on a bus/train/plane/car and someone else is driving if they fall asleep and cause a crash we suffer. Just as in my car accident I suffer because of someone else's actions.

Bottom line...I would rather be "not cool" and believe and have faith in a God I can not see than to die and realize that I missed out on eternal life in Heaven.

Today, choose to look around you and see all of God's beauty. Take a few minutes and look at the grass, the birds, lizards, the sun shining, the sun's reflection on the water, the beautiful sky, rain, clouds and know that God made it all.

Sleep - Day 10

Have you ever had trouble sleeping? You fall asleep only to wake up an hour later and not be able to fall back asleep. You lay down and your mind is racing with things on your mental to do list and you just can't fall asleep. You exercise during the day to wear yourself out and you cut out all caffeine in hopes it will help you fall asleep and stay asleep.

It is the little things in life that I have found that I took for granted... like sleeping. For many years the ability to sleep and stay asleep was not a problem for me. When I was growing up our backyard was normal size yard with a fence. The only difference was on the other side of the fence was train tracks. So I learned at a young age to sleep through anything including the loud choo choo train as it roared past my parents house.

For the last several years I find that falling asleep and/or staying asleep is something I can no longer do. If I get two or three hours of sleep, inlcuding waking up and falling back asleep, I consider it a Grrreeeeaaatttt (in my best Tony the Tiger voice) night. I don't know if my lack of sleep is related to my hysterectomy several years ago or any of my other health issues but sleep is something that I took for granted.

A friend once said that she learned to have pen and paper next to her bed along with a standing cross. When she went to bed she would write down what was on her mind and pray for a restful night and leave her cares/worries under the cross. If she woke up before her alarm she would write down what was on her mind and pray and leave it at the cross. She promised it would not be easy at first but I would soon see that leaving my cares/worries in God's hands not only would He handle them if I put my faith in Him but I should be able to sleep a little better. I will say that I am able to relax a little more but sleep still has not returned for me.

I would be very interested to hear from any of you if you have a problem sleeping and what has or has not worked for you. You can leave me a comment down below or if you prefer message me on Facebook.


"Cast your cares upon the Lord
and he will sustain you;" Psalm 55:22 NIV

This Little Light of Mine - Day 9

After a tough afternoon riding in a car to and from an appointment with my husband and having my PTSD rear its ugly head because of the car ride. My husband pulled into 7-Eleven on our way home.

When we pulled up and stopped all I wanted to do at that point was get home. We had the cable guy at our house and had already received one phone call from one of our adult daughters asking how much longer before we were home. She felt uncomfortable that the cable guy had arrived and needed to come in the house. She wasn't alone her sisters were home too but it increased stress/anxiety I was already feeling. I closed my eyes and said a prayer for protection and peace for her as well as myself. When I finished my prayer I opened my eyes to see my husband come walking out of the store with my favorite all time drink. A Slurpee...not just any Slurpee but a banana Slurpee. Thank you, thank you, thank you hubby!! Brain freeze here I come....YIPPPEEEE!!!

We pull up at home a couple minutes later and ease our daughters mind. Cable guy left a little while later and we decided to do hamburgers and hot dogs on the grill... potato salad and sweet tea. What better way to end a beautiful sunny day then sitting outside grilling with my husband and our girls.

With dinner being done everyone went in the house and I took the food off the grill and thought I turned the grill off. A couple hours later my husband rolled the gas grill into the garage and closed the garage. Yeppers, you guessed it, fast foward to 5:30 am when one of our daughters discovers that the gas grill has been on all night with the flames going inside. A much smaller flame then when I was grilling of course because the gas was running out and the flame was starting to disappear.

I thanked God for His protection and that the flame was contained to the inside of the closed grill. It reminded me how much a gas grill is like christians. If you leave a flame burning it is going to burn out and you have to refill the gas to keep the flame alive. We, as God's children, have to keep our light alive by fueling ourselves each day with His word. Without His word lighting our souls daily we are going to be just like the flame on the gas grill... the light is going to go out.

The little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine
The little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine
This little light of mine, I'm gonna let it shine
Let it shine, let it shine, let it shine..........

Nerve Damage - Day 8

Yesterday I woke up just like any other day. Started my day with my devotions and then read something from Lysa Terkeurst on Facebook that stopped me in my tracks. She was asking for prayers for ringing in her ears that had not stopped since she had ear surgery a week ago. My heart immediately went out to her as I could feel her pain. I prayed for the Doctors to be able to diagnosis what was wrong and prayed it was temporary.

As I went on about my day I thought about her and the new frustration that she was facing. The constant loud ringing...not being able to sit in a quite room for the loud high pitch ringing, having to ask people to repeat themselves or just nodding that you understand what they said when you really didn't hear them. The headaches from straining to listen or from the constant ringing. The distraction it causes when you are trying to concentrate and the ringing that interrupts your concentration. It is SO frustrating and completely wears me out...so I prayed as I went through the day that if it was God's will to heal her that he would.

Later in the afternoon Lysa posted again that she was diagnosed with severe nerve damage and hearing loss. My heart broke as I read those words...severe nerve damage and hearing loss...it brought back the memories of my Vestibular Nerve Damage and Meniere's diagnosis and the hearing loss that went along with it and the flood of emotions that I felt. To be told one diagnosis...that was enough but two? AND to hear the words from a Specialist "Double Whammy". That didn't help with the anxiety or the fear of the unknown. What was my world now going to be like? Do I have to live like this forever? There is no cure? There is no pill to take to ease the symptoms or to make it go away? (For me even if there was a pill to take I wouldn't take it. Too many weird side effects have happened to me and I prefer not to take anything.) 

One part of me was relieved to have a diagnosis but then another part was scared and fearful and wanted to snap my fingers and make it all go away. To go back in time and take away my car accident or even to stay at work instead of going to lunch that day. BUT going back wasn't an option I needed to stand tall, face it and learn how to live with it.

My heart goes out to Lysa and I pray for God to give her the patience and peace to deal with this new way of living that she will experience or for her healing if it is God's will.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in the hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope." Romans 5:1-4 NIV


                       Thank you God for such a beautiful blue clear sky!

The Car Accident That Changed My Life - Day 5

Today was a great day for me. My husband and I got up this morning and went for a long drive and even went into a store. To some of you this may not seem like a big deal but for me it was HUGE. Imagine for a moment drinking alcohol to the point of being passed the drunk stage. The point where dizziness sets in, the room spins, your head feels too heavy for your body and that awful sick feeling in the pit of your stomach with any movement and doing everything you possibly can to hold yourself up and not get sick. This is what I experience daily. Some days are better than others and I never know when it will come on.

I have what is called Vestibular Nerve Damage, Meniere's Disease, Nerve Damage, Aura Migraines, TBI (Traumatic Brain Injury) and PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Basically saying my sense of balance is off, my ears ring with a high pitch constantly and feel full as if I have swimmers ear, I don't sense hot or cold until it has passed the point of extreme. I have headaches but I am lucky enough not to have the pain associated with it. But the down side is I do get the neurological effects such as sensitivity to light, sound, smells, nausea and dots or flashes of lights in my eyes. The hard part in all of this is from the outside I look completely normal but all of this internal junk is enough to drive me crazy.

Before my accident my girls and I were constantly on the go and only home long enough to shower and sleep. From school activities, the beach, out of town NASCAR races, out of town NFL games, MLB games, concerts, Gator Nationals and weekend trips. We were always on the go and always traveling. Today my life does not include any of those things.

Let me explain the day that changed my life forever. It was a little over 11 years ago... a bright beautiful sunny day in December, a Wednesday December 13th. I woke up like any other morning got the girls dressed and off to school. Headed to work and around lunch time my boyfriend at the time called and asked if I wanted to go to lunch. We were busy at work and I felt a little nudge to say no but knew I had to eat and ignored that little warning "no" and said yes to him anyway.

He picked me up around noon and we headed to get something to eat. I still remember to this day how blue, clear and sunny the Florida sky was. As we approached the traffic light to make a right I noticed two people I knew from work. One was a Paramedic that had been asking me to go on a date for a few months and the other was his partner and EMT. They were standing by their ambulance as we passed them. Little did I know in a couple of minutes a mile or so down the road they would be dispatched to rescue me from my car accident. A car accident that has forever changed my life.

I was a passenger in a Ford Thunderbird driven by my boyfriend at the time. He had stopped in the left hand lane, of a main street in our city, along with a line of cars for a car making a u-turn. The only vehicle that didn't stop was a Ford F350 truck traveling at 50+ mph in a 40 mph zone. This truck switched from the right lane to the left lane never once applying the brakes as he slammed into the rear passenger side of  the car I was in. The force was so great that the backseat of the car was now even with the front seat. The seat I was sitting in due to the force of the impact broke the bolts loose and my seat just moved around.

I was told I was thrown into the front windshield with my head, cracked the glass and then busted out the passenger window also with my head. You see the only memeory I have to this day is seeing my ambulance friends at the corner when we turned and then the seeing the Paramedic, (that five years later became my husband), I knew standing at my window holding my hand telling me with the sun shining brightly behind him to stay still and calm they had to use the jaws of life to cut me out but he would stand there and hold my hand the whole time. The next memory I have was waking up in the hospital.

I spent three months doing test after test and physical therapy only to be told I needed surgery on my cervical spine to fuse it together because there was a piece of bone as sharp as a knife showing on an MRI that was pressing on my spine. I was told that I needed a plate screwed in my neck and to remove the sharp piece and without surgery I could be paralyzed from the neck down with the slightest jolt of my body. Well to me I would rather take the risk then to go under anesthesia for three to four hours and risk not waking up. My kids would be left without their mother and I knew that feeling all too well and didn't want them to experience it.

So I put my surgery off for a full year all the while experiencing strange and weird feelings with my health. Being a single parent trying to raise my kids and living that year in fear that if I fell, missed my footing, had a fender bender or even played too hard with the girls I could be paralyzed. After visiting Doctor after Doctor, EKG, EEG, MRI's, CT's, X-Ray's and Specialist after Specialist it was determined that I had no choice but to do the surgery. My health was getting worse, more damage was being done and finally I gave in and had to have the surgery done.

I went to the hospital that morning kicking, screaming, crying and trying to do everything I could to get out of it. The thought of them cutting my neck and moving everything around to screw a plate into my cervical spine and the fear of not waking up from the anesthesia did not make me happy. I couldn't control, (there is that word again from a previous post), a truck hitting the car but I could control not going under anesthesia...that was my thought process. Death...aftraid of dying. Afraid of leaving my girls without their mother. FEAR, FEAR, FEAR...fear of the unknown.

Waking up and the healing process was even more painful. For a year after my surgery I experienced dizziness, nausea, motion sickness and the worst of all food allergies. Never before did I have food allergies and now here I was allergic to peanuts, dairy and chocolate...all my favorite foods. It took me about six months to a year after my surgery to discover the allergies and boy were those feelings in my chest and breathing problems scary.

Doctor visit after Doctor visit being told that I had anxiety and depression all the while fighting back knowing something wasn't right created alot of anxiety. I could not go into stores because the dizziness was so bad that I would get confused. I couldn't drive on busy main roads due to confusion. Two and half years later I ended up in bed unable to do anything from the dizziness. Unable to read, watch TV and I couldn't sleep for the constant motion. I felt like I was on a tea cup ride at Disney World or laying on a waterbed at night. Finally, I ended up at an Ear, Nose and Throat specialist in another city that ran some extensive tests and made the diagnosis. It was such a relief to finally have a name, Vestibular Nerve Damage, tests to prove and someone to believe me after all the fighting I did. He also explained that when the visual stimulation occurs from looking at something it is like a traffic jam. The information gets losts with the never damage and causes the confusion and dizziness. I spent the next six months doing everything he told me several times a day and digging deep to fight to have some type of new functioning normal in my life. To be able to drive, go out to eat and enjoy the things I used to do. March of 2004 I went back to work and two months after that I started to drive. Luckily I worked close enough to home that I could drive on residential streets more than on main busy roads.

I had many struggles over the past eight years but I was able to find a new way to function. Until two and a half years ago...I found myself back at home with an increased dizziness, (above what I was used to), muscle stiffness, confusion and weakness. After a couple of Doctors visits I was told I had the flu and take it easy and rest. Then to be at work weeks later and have everything go black and end up on the floor and  taken to the E.R. by ambulance only to be told that it has to do with the nerve damage in my ear.

My mind started racing back to having to fight with all the Doctors again to listen to me, tests to run to determine why the increase in symptoms... I just didn't have it in me anymore. I was extremely tired from only sleeping a couple of hours a night, I didn't have the strength to fight, I didn't have the will to fight anymore... I was begging for help but no one knew what to do...it was a daily struggle with the dizziness over the years to do normal tasks that I took for granted before my car accident. Things like bending over and unloading the dishwasher without falling, going into a store and not being confused because of too much visual stimulation and eating what I wanted and not worrying about being allergic to that food are just a couple of the things that have been hard for me. My whole life and lifestyle changed.

In all this there was one person that heard me and heard my cries...God. He is real and I have experienced His love, grace and mercy in my life. In the beginning of last year I went back to the Doctor only to have more work done and over a series of months was told that I had Hypokalemia. So now I monitor my potassium intake each day to make sure it stays at the level they want.

I am on my way back with a renewed fight and I am trying to reach that level of being able to function with all the health issues. It could be worse and I am thankful for this fight that I have and the ability each day to get up and push myself a little further. It has not been an easy road for myself or my family. It has been a huge strain. But I am so thankful to get up each day and be able to love on my husband, daughters and granddaughter.

Through this the one constant has been God. He has been there each step of the way. Reaching for me when I was not following Him and now guiding me that I am following Him on my new journey.

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future." Jeremiah 29:11

His Plans Not Mine - Day 4

Have you ever woke up in the morning and planned your day only to have to re-plan as you go along? This was me today... I woke up, got dressed and sent my husband off for an inservice at work. I had so many things to do that my list is now two pages long of to do items. I kept telling myself I did not have time to do my daily quite time that I would put it off until tomorrow. Then I realized...I was on a journey to get better and heal...so I did my devotion and prayed my daily prayer but this time I asked God to direct my steps in what He wanted me to do today. After I finished my quite time with God I mapped out my day.

It went something like this...
1. Continue laundry (now that I have all my family under one roof again we have assigned days to do our laundry and of course I am behind)
2. Ironing (I used to love it but when you have two loads of laundry needing to be ironed and the washing machine and dryer still to unload...need I say more?)
3. Plan dinner
4. Plan a surprise evening out after dinner with hubby
5. Try driving around the block
6. Try going into the grocery store
7. Find a home for all the "stuff" that I moved out of both of my daughters rooms when they moved back home
8. Start my online Bible study questions
9. Clean out and rearrange the garage
10. Walk a half mile
11. Schedule Doctors appointments
And the list goes on...sounds like a pretty good, quite and uneventful day...BUT that is not how my day unfolded. Remember..I asked in my prayer time for God to guide my steps today.

So, after quite time it started...I made sure one daughter was awake to take a test at the college this morning. Only to find out when she went to leave the house that her ID was in the car that my hubby took to work. Which meant she would have to miss the test and try and reschedule it. After numerous calls to the college she had to reschedule the test, this caused her to be very upset because she had been studying for it all week and all night. BUT it was an opportunity for me to show her love and the ability for her to have more time to study. Thank you God for this chance to show love and encouragement.

Then I went and woke up daughter number two and after breakfast she started in on her outside chores assigned as punishment. Her attitude was roaring as if she was a lion about to attack and I let that energy come out in her yard work. The attitude has been hanging around for a little longer than it should and dealing with some other issues as well. My attitude I could feel was starting to grow so I thank you God for yard work and the ability to remain calm and ask for forgiveness for my attitude.

Next daughter number three woke up, ate breakfast and started job hunting only to be discouraged by the constant let downs of organizations not hiring. Thank you God for the doors you are going to open for her and the chance I have to encourage her.

Then my granddaughter woke up and was ready to dance, run, play, sing and scream the second her feet hit the ground. Thank you God for the energetic, bouncing, bubbly precious gift from you that keeps me running around acting as if I was two years old and in need of a nap by noon.

As I went about my day I kept praying for all of my girls and the wisdom to be able to help them in each of their unique situations. I was blessed to have two very dear christian friends come over and visit my husband and I tonight. Their words of wisdom, experience and encouragement were right on time. Just as God is never early or late but right on time with what I need when I need it.

Tomorrow is another day to try and do my to do list but if God has other plans for me then I welcome the interruption.

"My voice You shall hear in the morning, O LORD; in the morning I will direct it to You, and I will look up." Ps. 5:3 NKJV

"We humans keep brainstorming options and plans, but God's purpose prevails." Proverbs 19:21 The Message

Planting Seeds - Day 3

I am so very thankful for this journey that I am on, even though currently it has been confined to the 2500+ square feet I call home, I am still so very thankful. I thank those of you that have reached out to me and appreciate all of your support.

Since I posted Day 2, I have had one of my moms friends reach out to me and let me know some things about my mom that I didn't know. Extended family that has shown me the true meaning of family by living and modeling honest living. A shared quiet moment of relief tears with a family member when we realized the true reason we were digging for the truth. The love being shown by my church. Doors opening that I thought would NEVER open (more to be shared as I walk through the doors) and a phone call with a friend who made me laugh so hard my stomach and face hurt for hours.

Yesterday, I did just what I said I was going to do in my previous post. I gave the trash men cold bottled water and thanked them for the job that they do and they were so thankful. It made me stop and think how many people are in the world day in and day out doing jobs that we take for granted. What would happen if we had to dispose of our own trash? What would happen if there was no dump for the trash? Just my thoughts... on a job and people that I have taken for granted.

On to my next thought...Have you ever heard someone say you reap what you sow or plant a seed and watch it grow? I have had to learn to sit back and to be patient, be still, and wait on God. To learn to plant seeds of God's word in truth and love and watch it grow.

Speaking of planting seeds... My husband gave me roses on Valentine's Day and after they died I planted them in a pot in hopes they would come back alive. I watched them daily, watered them and cut back leaves.... and today..... two months later, they are blooming.

"Very truly I tell you, unless a kernel of wheat falls to the ground and dies, it remains only a single seed. But if it dies, it produces many seeds." John 12:24 NIV

Let The Journey Begin

Have you ever been really afraid of something? Your heart starts pounding, your mind starts racing and you are suddenly paralyzed with fear. Maybe you have watched a suspense film, heard a noise in the middle of the night or had the phone ring at 2:00 am that gets your blood racing through your veins with fear of the unknown and "what ifs". I have experienced this way too many times to remember and have allowed it to consume my life along with my health issues.

For me the fear and worry started at a very early age. As a toddler I learned to roller skate at my family's business and at 18 months old competed in front of large crowds until I was around 13. I would forget my routine and have to search the crowd for my mom to dance on the sidelines to get me moving and out of the paralyzed fear induced frozen state I was in. This is something I can still experience just writing about it.

Throughout life I have had a series of scary and traumatic events that have formed who I am today and the reason for this journey back.  Here are a few of those events...losing my Aunt and Uncle at a young age from a trucking accident, working as teller at a bank and being robbed, abused as a child from a family member, adultery in my marriage and an ex-husband who borrowed a gun and planned to kill me, our daughters and himself. I am thankful to this day for my dad and his police skills for recognizing the situation and getting us out. Losing my mother to cancer when I was 19 and having a daughter that was 10 months old and not sure my self how to be a mother. Six months after my mom died my dad, while working undercover at the Daytona 500, suffered a major heart attack and died on the ER table. He was brought back to life but it left me fearful of death and realizing that one day I would be without any parents. My brother serving overseas in the Navy and hearing of suicide bombers at markets and wondering and worrying if he would come back home. Wondering if that could happen here in my grocery store or my mall. A rape, a car broken into, and my car accident almost 12 years ago that left me with health issues that I have had to learn how to overcome and adapt and just plain deal with.

All these situations are not something for me to be ashamed of and not ONE of these events could I have prevented. I have always been a called a “worry wart” for as long as I can remember and I am a control freak. I always need things to be just right, not perfect, but just right. (Your saying you’re a control freak D just admit it.) Anyway, what I am trying to say is not one of the events did I have the ability to control. What I have been able to do these last two years is forgive those who have hurt me and I am working on asking those that I have hurt to forgive me.

Since letting go of the anger and hurt that I have held onto I have been able to be more supportive and compassionate to those dealing with problems. I am slow to speak, quick to listen and even slower to anger. I have learned to turn all this over to God and let go of the fear and worry that has consumed me all my life. I believe there is 366 times that “fear not” is stated in the Bible. That means that each day there is no reason to fear anything but to know that God has the situation in His hands and is walking with us. Some have asked me how can you believe in a God that allows bad things to happen to good people? Well, my response is He never promised this life would be easy and without problems but what He did promise is to give us the strength and courage to get through any situation. I look at it this way. He allowed His son to suffer on the cross…..His own son…why should I, or anyone else expect to not suffer in this life.


This is me and my journey and my thoughts it is not meant to offend anyone. This is my reflection and my healing journey!

Today I forgot to take pictures of my journey but promise moving forward to share a picture here and on Instagram and maybe Facebook. I will post each morning of my "plans" for the day and then take pictures as I do them and share my journey. As always please leave me a comment below, call me or maybe come join me one day on my journey.

The whole family did work outside our house today and I am especially grateful for my husband and my oldest daughter. They spent 13 hours on the road yesterday moving our oldest daughter home only to wake up this morning and start moving things again. Organizing every inch of our shed and putting a good size dent in our garage. We cleaned and decluttered... the trash men will absolutely love us tomorrow. I am going to try and be outside when they pick up the trash and offer a bottle of water to thank them for the job I couldn't do.  Thank you my beautfiul family, I love you!

“Count on it: Everyone who had it in for you
  will end up out in the cold-
  real losers.
Those who worked against you
  will end up empty-handed-
  nothing to show for their lives.
When you go out looking for your old adversaries
  you won’t find them-
Not a trace of your old enemies,
  not even a memory.
That’s right. Because I, your God,
  have a firm grip on you and I’m not letting go.
I’m telling you, “Don’t panic I’m right here to help you.”
Isaiah 41:11-13 MSG

I Will Rise

"I will rise when He calls my name
No more sorrow
No more pain
I will rise...
There's a day that's drawing near
when the darkness breaks to light
and the shadows disappear and my faith
shall be my eyes...
Jesus has overcome...
The victory is won
He is risen from the dead...
I will rise
When he calls my name
No more sorrow
No more pain
I will rise on eagles' wings..."
I Will Rise by Chris Tomlin 

I WILL RISE... and I am doing just that. I have been encouraged by people to share my life ...struggles and all. I started praying about it with several people and even questioned the whole idea. Really? Me God? Really? Come on this is hard for me to deal with much less putting it out there for everybody to read. I have found that in the midst of my health and life struggles the past two years that God has provided the strength and wisdom I needed.

So join me everyday on my way back to health and a new and functioning normal for me. I will talk about what put me where I am and what I am doing each day as I go about trying to regain my life and the freedom so many of us take for granted. God never promised this life would be easy but he did promise to be with us each step of the way with the strength needed in our weakness at the very moment to get through whatever he wants us to do. To step out of my four wall comfort zone called home and experience the life He has in store for me and my family.

I remember watching a movie with my husband called Unstoppable with Denzel Washington. This movie was about a runaway train speeding out of control carrying toxic chemicals and gaining speed.  It puts an engineer and his conductor in a race against time to chase down the train and bring it under control before it derails and causes a toxic spill that will destroy a town.  This reminded me of my life and the toxic "stuff" including but not limited to my health issues that had me spiraling out of control. Not to mention over hearing a conversation one of my daughters was having in which she stated, "I wish you would have known my mom before her car accident...we were always going and always doing..we were never home but to sleep."

As I experience life, something new or old daily, I invite you to follow along by reading my blog or following my pictures on Instagram (denisec6). I will share each day a little about my struggles and my journey back. Feel free to leave a comment, to call me or even stop by the house.


"I am the light of the world. Whoever follows me will never walk in darkness, but will have the light of life." John 8:12