On Saturday, we went to my grandparents and enjoyed a few hours with them, my Aunt and my cousins. I experienced some dizziness but I was able to manage it. I prayed for God to give me strength and the ability to persevere.
On Sunday, I enjoyed a wonderful breakfast made by my husband as we watched In Touch with Dr. Charles Stanley on television. I prayed again for God to give me strength for the day and the ability to persevere. I rode with my husband for an hour as we did an errand and by the time we got home I ran straight for the bathroom and got sick. I prayed again for strength and was determined not to let this get the best of me. We had plans to go out to dinner and I did not want to disappoint my husband or the girls even though I felt horrible.
We did end up going out to dinner on Mother's Day and my grandparents joined us. The restaurant wasn't busy when we got there and we enjoyed a nice dinner. After dinner and conversation I started not feeling well, it was warm, the ringing in my ears and dizziness was getting worse. As we started walking towards the front of the building doors to leave the sudden confusion was upon me. The visual stimulation from the crowded and noisy restaurant became so overwhelming that as I was walking to the car you would have thought I was drunk. Being pulled to one side because of my dizziness it was all I could do to concentrate on walking to the car.
As everyone stopped to say their goodbyes I was making my way to the car hoping it would be able to hold me up. Something I do when we are out and I am not feeling well is rely on the strength of the car to hold me up....you would think it was KITT from the T.V. show Knight Rider with David Hasselhoff.
I never verbalized what I was going through...I mean seriously how do you verbalize what you are feeling when the other person has never experienced it.... but my husband and daughters knew I wasn't feeling well. When my husband got to the car he asked if I felt good enough to go to the store. I really didn't but I was not going to give up and feel defeated. I was not going to go home and cry because I couldn't make it so I instead of saying no I said yes. On the way to the store I prayed again, yeppers you guessed it, for strength and the ability to persevere.
Once we arrived at the store there was only a couple of customers inside. We ended up spending a couple of hours in the store and it was hard. The fluorescent lights and all the stuff on the walls is what made it hard. There were a couple of times where I felt like I was going to fall down because the dizziness got to be too much and the ringing in my ears, oh my, but I persevered.
When we got home I went in my bedroom and cried and thanked God for giving me the strength, His strength, to make it out two days in a row. I was so thankful and happy to have had such a wonderful weekend. Even through all the struggles I DID IT with alot of help from God.
I was looking forward to the week ahead. My husband was back on day shift, my daughter was starting a new job and I was going to be watching my granddaughter. I tried to sleep Sunday night but just couldn't. A part of me, just like a child on Christmas Eve, didn't want to sleep. I didn't want the accomplishments of the weekend to fade away. I wasn't able to sleep Sunday even though I felt completely drained and exhausted. I spent the rest of the week tyring to fight the drained feeling. I think I have it beat and I am looking forward to the weekend.
With the giant steps forward this weekend I also suffered some set backs emotionally, mentally and physically but I am not giving up. No one told me this was going to be easy.
My confidence through all of this was at an all time high and I truly believe ALL THINGS ARE POSSIBLE WITH GOD!
"I can do everything through Him who gives me strength." Philipians 4:13
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