I'm trading my shame,
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
I'm trading my sickness,
I'm trading my pain
I'm laying them down for the joy of the Lord
Yes Lord
Yes Lord
Yes Yes Lord!"
by: Darrell Evans
As I walked out of my fourth Cardiologist appointment in a week I was emotional. My husband did not come back in the room with me to hear the results so as I repeated them to him on the way to the car I broke down and cried.
I wasn't crying because I received horrible news or that the sky was falling. I was crying because the tests were over and it was a big relief. I was crying and needed his support and help to understand some things that I was told. I was crying because I had become too silent in complaining when I didn't feel good. I was crying because there will be more tests in the near future.
I don't know about you but when a Doctor comes in to talk with me sometimes I hear what he is saying and understand but fear takes over and I mentally shut down. Then the bargaining starts...if I do this will it help, if I do that will it help?
Once we got home I needed to do something to release my emotions. My husband loves to play golf so I asked him if he wanted to go play. I knew he couldn't say no to me on that one....
We went and had lunch at the course and then shot some golf balls. I had some clubs that my grandmother had given me years ago so I broke them out. What a great way to release emotions on such a little object...a golf ball. It was fun and he made me laugh.
The next day I went back to the Dentist for some work. I reached out for prayer for both days and off to my appointment I went. I took my Kindle, phone and headphones with me.
When I got back to the room I was comfortable and relaxed. I put the headphones on and started listening to a book by Micca Campbell called and Untroubled Heart. (An excellent book!) She started working on my teeth and then a few minutes into my book for reasons I don't know... it stopped playing. I didn't want to stop the work in my mouth because the sooner she was done the sooner I could leave.
Have you ever tried to take headphones out of a Kindle and put them into an iPhone with out looking? Well I did and started playing my Chris Tomlin music only to hear her say I love his music. (Oops, the headphones did not go into the iPhone.) As I tried to fumble, again without looking, to put the headphones in she told me it was okay I could leave the music on.
The next thing that happened took me by surprise and I KNOW it was ALLLLLLL GOD!
She started singing the song while working on my teeth. Yes, that is correct, singing...not just some song playing on the radio but a Christian song that means alot to me and speaks volumes to me. Her voice was comforting and right on key. A Dentist office? Singing? Christian music? God you are AMAZING!
The song, How Great Is Our God by Chris Tomlin, is a song that I get lost in when I worship Him.
If I ever doubted there was a God I was soooo wrong! All this is not a coincidence it was God! He is so GREAT! I so don't deserve the grace and love that God is showing me. I have sinned and fallen way short. I am not perfect and not consistent but one thing I surely know is that I love God with all my heart and He sure loves me.
I wish it hadn't taken me over 25 years to come back to a loving and forgiving God.
"The Lord is my rock, my fortress, and my savior;
My God is my rock, in whom I find protection.
He is my shield, the power that saves me,
And my place of safety." Psalm 18:2
