Sunday, November 20, 2011

God's Word ~ Intimate Personal Relationship

Get into God's Word. Develop an intimate personal relationship with God. Huh? What?

I am having problems in my marriage. Get into God's Word. I am having problems with my children. Get into God's Word. I am having problems with my job. Get into God's Word. I don't know what to do. Get into God's Word. Huh? What do you mean "Get into God's Word"? I need answers now, I need help, I need direction. HELP!!

In dealing with trials and problems the response I would get was not the one I wanted to hear. I wanted direction, someone to guide me and tell me what to do. I can't find what God wants me to do. Where do I even begin to look in the Bible? I don't understand what He says sometimes. It was confusing....UNTIL...I got into God's Word.

It didn't happen over night or even in a month. It took me digging in His word. It took me crying to Him to open my eyes and my heart to the words on the pages. It took soul searching. I couldn't understand or even begin to comprehend His words, because I was holding on to past and present hurts, anger, jealousy and caught up in trying to please everyone. Once I really let go and let God... my life started change. The problems are still there they have not gone away but I am seeing them with different eyes. I am dealing with them by turning them over to God.

Do I still get angry, frustrated and hurt? Absolutely, I am human and my humanly flesh would love to control. But that is not what God wants. He wants me to pray about it and give it to Him. Not just give it to Him a little bit but completely surrender it to Him. Again, all this did not happen over night or even in a month but over time with lots of tears and prayers my eyes are opening. Lots of dealing with past and present hurts, abuse, betrayal and things I have carried with me since childhood.

I got started by reading the book of Proverbs that corresponded with what date is on the calendar. For instance, today is the 20th so I would read Proverbs 20.

God's words are now coming alive to me. They stand out on a page.  I can read a scripture in my NIV Bible and if I don't understand it I look it up in The Message version. Just the other day I received a book in the mail from a dear person. It just so happened I had purchased the same book years ago. I had tried to read a couple of chapters but did not understand it. I then put the book that I got years ago on a shelf and allowed the dust to collect. Once I received the same book in the mail a couple days ago, I opened it and started to read and kept reading. I understood it now, through new eyes and a new heart that God has given me.

If someone asks what do I do, where do I start... I say for me it helped to start in Proverbs and read the Gospel of John. Just get into God's word....Read it....Reread it...Let the words linger in your mind. Make time for God...if you have time for Facebook, Twitter, T.V., Yoga...then you have time for God. He talks in His word about idols, not to put idols before Him. If you spend time on social media sites or watching television instead of being in God's word you could consider those things and idol. Why? Because it is taking up your time that you could spend in God's word.

I can understand things now...why?....because I got into God's Word. I developed a Personal Intimate Relationship with a loving and all knowing God.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18
"Be joyful always; pray continually; give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus."

Friday, November 18, 2011

Standing On His Promises

Standing, Standing, Standing on the promises of Christ My Savior! Love that song and chorus.

The above sentence is a song that I started singing a few months ago, out of the clear blue sky, when I picked Joshua 1:9 NIV as my life verse. "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go."

You see, I had a car accident 11 years ago that left me with some lasting injuries. One of those being severe dizziness. It took me three years of going from Doctor to Doctor from Specialist to Specialist to finally have someone run extensive test and put a name to what was wrong, Vestibular Nerve Damage and Meniere's Disease. During this time I developed alot of anxiety and depression. I have always had some form of anxiety (worry, doubt, not good enough) and depression hidden down deep but now it would surface more often. My life changed during this time along with surgery to put a plate in my neck from a bulging disc.

Fast foward to today, I have been home for over a year due to the dizziness. During this time anxiety and fear consumed me. Doctors not listening to me and I just didn't have the energy or fight left in me to push forward. I was too tired, stressed at home, stressed at work, not sleeping, not eating right, I was just too tired. Now that I look back I believe God had His hand in it. I was struggling trying to balance my job (taking on too many responsibilities and not asking for help), kids (jealousy, arguements, school, chores) my husband and my home.

During this time I was asking God to help me but I was so busy that I couldn't hear Him. I did not take time to spend quality personal time with Him. Don't get me wrong, I would pray on the way to work (two to three minute drive), I would sit in my car sometimes at lunch and listen to the christian music station, I went to church on most Sundays... but... that is not want God wanted. He wanted a personal relationship with me. How could I possibly listen to Him I was too busy.

I started trying to find God and what He wanted me to do. I was reading book after book, devotion after devotion, watching christian television programming one after another and seeking advice from two very dear christian family members. God started working in me, healing me from past wounds one at a time. This wasn't easy, I fought tooth and nail. I am a control freak and to let go and let God wasn't in my vocabulary. I wanted instant results not to wait in faith. Faith? Wait? Oh no .... we have a problem.

I had always tried to be there in times of need for my extended family. If someone was in the hospital I would sit with them or visit them everyday if not stay around the clock. Now, I needed them... I needed them to hold me, pick me up, get me to a hospital or Doctor and admit me until they found out what was going on. I just didn't have the strength to fight anymore.

In all my reading and watching television there was one verse that constantly stood out, Jermiah 29:11 NIV, "For I know the plans I have for you, "declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you a hope and a future." Thank you God for this verse you don't want to harm me you want me to grow. The enemy wants to harm me the enemy wants me to remain where I am.

 A year ago my brother called to tell me about a woman he heard speak and he wanted to read me a page in her book which turned into him reading a chapter from her book. The person was Lysa Terkeurst and I could relate to the chapter he was reading from her book, skating and 80's music. I had to have her book and I started following her online. That was 11 months ago and it is amazing to see what God has done during this time.

I can remember in August I came across a verse in Renee Swope's book, A Confident Heart, that I picked as my life verse. I had a Doctor's appointment coming up and fear was rearing it's ugly head with the what ifs. I imagined God talking to me in a stern fatherly voice saying, "Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." Joshua 1:9 NIV. I was rocking my grandaughter and looking out her window at the trees and the sky and just started reciting that verse over and over. I then started singing out of the clear blue, Standing standing standing on the promises of Christ my Savior standing standing I'm standing on the promises of God.

I felt peace not just any peace but an unexplainable peace and joy. I had goose bumps and tears rolling down my face. A few months later I posted on my Facebook page the verse from Joshua 1:9 and that I was standing on the promises. A lady who is like family and had been my grandfather's right hand at work for many years before he passed away told me that he was leading that song in church the night he passed away. I got goose bumps all over again.

No matter what we face each day if we "Stand on HIS Promises" He will be there, He will show up and direct us. After all He did command us to be strong and courageous not fearful or discouraged and He will be with us wherever we go. What an awesome promise to stand on!

Thursday, November 17, 2011

I love you! Love, God

It started out as a rough day.

First, I was trying to encourage my step-daughter in her home school lessons only to be met with complaining and lies. No matter how hard I tried to turn around her negative talk it just kept getting worse. Next, my husband came in frustrated and immediately started getting upset with us. So I decided to walk away to try and squish my rising emotions.

I tried to play my Ipod so I could listen to Kari Jobe but the battery was depleted. My oldest daughter sensing my frustration gave me her phone and put on Pandora with Kari Jobe. I plugged in the head phones and headed to the kitchen to clean.

At that moment my emotions had got the best of me. Anger, frustration and disbelief in the situation. All I could do was whisper God help me, please help me right now. I remember reading and watching Lysa Terkeurst on a blog one time saying something to the effect (not her exact words but what I took away from it) that you should just call on the name of Jesus when you can't put words together. That is exactly what I started doing Jesus, Jesus, Jesus, help me!

I was putting away dishes and the chorus to the song playing through the head phones suddenly got my attention "How Great Is MY GOD, sing with me How Great is MY GOD". I closed my eyes and lifted my hands to the ceiling and cried. Not just little tears but sobbing as I whispered and sang the song in my head. Thank you God is all I could whisper. Another song started and my heart was pounding and racing I could feel God's presence. I could feel peace all around me. I became calm, comforted... Oh my I am in God's presence. What a wonderful feeling, I didn't want it to stop. 

Suddenly I was brought back to reality by the shattering of a dish that I forgot I was holding when I reached up to the ceiling to worship God. As I started picking up the pieces there it was another sign from God. A piece of broken glass in the shape of a heart. Not a perfect heart but a jagged heart. Saying to me "I love you! Love, God".

Somehow during all of this I had made my way from the sink into my pantry (the only quiet place in my house at that time) and just stood there thanking God. Thanking Him for every little thing and asking for forgiveness. One song after another kept playing and I kept praising Him.  

I follow people on twitter and after I came out of the pantry my phone started going off with tweet alerts like it was a dinner bell ringing. They said:
*Are you making the most of misc. moments in your life? Renee Swope

*God wants us to complete one another, celebrating and encouraging each others strengths...Renee Swope

*Use your words as bricks to build others up, not as bulldozers to tear them down. Renee Swope RT of Joyce Meyer

*The more frequently u turn your attention 2 me, the better balanced ur life will be. Renee Swope

*I can trust the ONE who has my best interest in mind. AW Tozer

Below is the actual piece of glass that I have taped to my journal to constantly remind me of the bad day that turned out to be the very best day!